The Loneliness Part 2

validation

That loneliness caused me to get into another painful relationship. I was too busy trying to be what I thought he wanted me to be. I was seeking love and validation in the wrong place. I went through and did things in that relationship that I never thought I would do. I lost my faith, I didn’t pray like I used to, I didn’t read like I used to. That man and that relationship became my Idol. I began to be isolated from my family and friends.I accepted treatment from him that was unimaginable. I literally went through Hell, all because I did not value myself and I did not want to be alone.

I was a late bloomer. I didn’t get my first boyfriend until I was 20, and to this day I have only had 3 serious relationships. Growing up, I was bullied by peers and family members…for a long time I thought no one liked me. I’ve dealt with thoughts of suicide. I have been called ugly, fat, even been told I stunk to my face. I was talked about because of my hair, my clothes, etc. And I never bothered anybody. That was the thing that I never could understand. I just thought I was unwanted, and unloved.

That’s the way the enemy wants you to feel. He is strategic in his moves. He studies each and every one of us closely, looking at our weaknesses and strengths. He attacks you where you are weak. This is why it is so important for us to recognize where we are mentally and emotionally…and work on that. Own up to your stuff! Deal with it, and then move on.

So I have been owning up to my stuff. I have been dealing with my stuff. I STILL have stuff to work on. But I am so thankful that God is faithful to complete the work that he has began in me.

Phillippians 1:6-“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

I am so thankful right now for God’s chastisement, because I know that he loves me. He wants me to make it! He wants YOU to make it!

Hebrews 12:6-AMP-“For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.

So let God try the reigns of your heart. Let him clean you up…let him Show you, YOU! Its not always easy, but I know that it is worth it. He is ironing out my wrinkles, healing my blemishes. This time in my life is not easy…sometimes it hurts. But, I look at it like this…if you think of a child who is going through a growth spurt…their bones ache, because they are growing. My soul is aching because the SPIRIT is growing inside of me…and those things that are not like God are being pushed out. God showed me that I had to forgive…it hurt me to realize that I had been harboring that, but as I went through the process…pushed it out…the pain subsided. When God showed me that I had anger issues…it hurt me because I didn’t realize I did…but as I let things go…that pain subsided. Now, as God is freeing me of this loneliness….the pain is subsiding…..Thank you Jesus. So, if you are lonely, angry, hurting, holding grudges….remember that God still loves you, and he is the Healer of all. He already took care of that on the cross, all you have to do is receive it. I want to leave you with this scripture…its actually one of my favorites….but keep this in mind as you go through the pain of the process…it won’t last always…..

Romans 8:18-“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

Listen to this song by the Clark sisters….

God Bless you. If you want to talk, or just vent. Feel free to hit me up in my email….abundantheart14@gmail.com.  Feel free to comment below!

In His Abundant Love,

Miranda

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7 thoughts on “The Loneliness Part 2

  1. I am happy for you that you are in the process of finding your value. Ultimately I feel that is very important. You need to love yourself and know your worth. Sometimes it hurts when others don’t see the good and don’t see the value in you, but believe in yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much zombiedrew2. It is very important, and you know, I think that many people are walking around with a false confidence based totally on the form, but are lacking the confidence within. I grew tired of trying to just base my confidence on my outer appearance. I realized that even though I may have gotten my outside appearance in order, my inside was/is still a mess! So its time to clean up from the inside out…..Thank you so much for reading and for your encouragement. Your article on happiness was awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for the kind words, I appreciate it. When I started blogging it was in response to a failed relationship. It damaged me in ways that are hard to explain, and I started looking inward and trying to understand what had happened and what I really wanted out of life. I wrote about a number of topics on relationships, and then I came to the realization that in some ways it doesn’t matter what you do as part of a “we”, unless you are also happy with who you are first. I started writing on that (I called it Identity Crisis), and it became a lengthy 3 part blog.

        One of the things I realized is that we are all damaged in one way or another, and that’s alright. It just means we have life experience, and we are human. You say you are still a mess inside. I think we all are, but realizing it is a wonderful thing because it means you can work on yourself, and get stronger a little bit every day.

        All the best

        Liked by 1 person

      • Amen!!!!! So true…I guess this is my sort of “identity crisis” one thing I know is that u either learn and grow from ur experience or you harden and stunt…mi choose to learn and grow!!!! I wish u all the best as well.

        Liked by 1 person

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