“You are so special to me. You are one of a kind, irreplaceable. You have been through alot of things in your life. Things that have changed and molded you. The pressure has caused you to become a diamond. You are the apple of God’s eye, and you are the apple of my eye. You have such a great destiny. The gifts and talents that God placed in you are so awesome. You are a Queen, my queen, and I will treat you as such. You are beautiful, delicate, and precious. You are not only beautiful on the outside, you are beautiful on the inside. You are loving, caring, kind, sweet, and thoughtful. I will always have your back. I will always protect your heart. I will protect your body. I will nurture and protect your spirit. I will stay connected to the father, to help you grow spiritually. I will love you unconditionally, and forever. So today, I ask you for your hand. Will you Marry me?”
And I said…..YES!
Every woman has her dream engagement. Her dream engagement ring, etc. As I have stated before, I have been doing serious introspection. I have a desire to be married, but I have to ask myself, am I truly ready? I have to be real with myself, and realize that I am still a work in progress….I mean we all are, but there are certain things that we have to look at, before we even think about dating or being in a serious relationship with someone. One of the things that I have realized is that I first have to be in a serious relationship with God….and with myself. This is why I asked myself to marry me….let me explain further.
As God has been revealing certain things to me, my daddy isssues, my unforgiveness, my anger, my loneliness…I realized that in all of those issues, I went outside of God to try to fill those voids. In the process, I lost myself. I didn’t love myself, I didn’t value myself, I didn’t cherish myself. Some of the things that I have chosen to do in the past, were done to feel loved, or to try to gain someone’s love, the affection i was wanting and missing and even to feel good about myself. I have had my moments were I didn’t care. Moments where i was boasting in myself. But all the while inside, I was dying. I was hurting so bad, but I kept up a facade, where no one would know or even think that I was tore up.
I realized that because I didn’t love God like I should have, I wasn’t dedicated to Him like I should have been. And because didn’t love myself, I couldn’t even be dedicated to myself. There is a saying when it comes to relationships that, If someone doesn’t love God, then they won’t know how to truly love you. This is so true in relationships and also with self. How will I learn to truly love myself, or see myself as God sees me, if I don’t build my relationship with Him and let Him pour his love into me? God is Love, and if I don’t know God…then I won’t know true Love for myself, nor when it comes from a significant other. Alot of times, this is why we settle. We cannot recognize true love, because we are not in relationship with the Lover of our souls.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, dedicate means: to officially make (something) a place for honoring or remembering a person, event, etc. ; to devote to the worship of a divine being; specifically: to set apart to sacred uses wtih solemn rites; to commit to a goal or way of life.
Romans 12:1-2 (KJV) says:
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
So today, I choose to make my body a place for honoring God, I devote myself to the worship of the Almighty God, Jehovah and I will renew my mind daily so that I can reach the goals that God has for me. Today I charge you to take inventory of your life and do the same.
Engagement, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary means, An arrangement to meet or be present at a specified time and place; emotional involvement or commitment; the state of being in gear.
I proposed to myself today….and I accepted. So now, I am engaged….to myself. I am presenting my body as a living sacrifice, holy, and acceptable unto God, which is my reasonable service. God, I am your yielded vessel. Help me to be who you have called me to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If you want to just talk, or if you would like to share your self-engagement story to be published on here, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
In His Abundant Love,