To all the Single Ladies: Worship while you wait

Hey!

I know its been awhile since I have posted anything…again…but I choose to speak when I know God has shared something with me that I should share. Just like many of you, I too, are single. Its not the easiest season to be in when you see your close friends and family and even folks who you may deem undeserving of true love, (keepin’ it real, we all know someone like that) get in relationships, engaged, married, and then begin their families. Especially if this is a desire that you have in your heart. Trust me, I know. This year I turned 33, and it doesn’t help when people ask you the questions, “When are you gonna get married?” “When are you gonna have kids?” Or they say insensitive things to you like, “If you keep on waiting, you are gonna wait too late to have kids.” Blah, Blah, Blah. I get tired of those questions, and yes, I have to be honest, at times I get tired of waiting, but I know that God’s timing is perfect, and I would rather wait on the right one than to enter into a right now relationship. I’ve been in too many of those, and you never get the outcome that you want.

I ran across a great article on the website, Married and Young (www.marriedandyoung.com, great website…check it out!) And there was an article entitled, “Is He the One?” written by Shannon Colar. In this article, Shannon discusses her experience of meeting a guy that seemed to be everything that she wanted. They spent time together, met each other’s family and friends, etc., someone even “prophesized to her that He would walk her down the aisle…..(how many of you have that happened to?) but it all ceased at a point, and then when they would communicate, it would be in cycles. Talk for three months, don’t talk for three, kind of thing. (I’ve been there SEVERAL TIMES, I’m so over that…LOL). So she sought answers…and one of her mentors told her, ““Whenever I find myself liking a guy, I worship! I make sure my heart is turned towards God”.  When I read those words, it turned on a light bulb.  Worship while you wait. Waiting in this single season, does not mean not doing anything. It is so important to be lead by God during this season, because you can end up in situations that will hinder your growth…. the longer you hinder your growth…the longer you delay your promise. Think about the Children of Israel…they ended up in the wilderness for 40 years…a trip that should have taken days because of their attitude. What is your attitude in this season? We have to check ourselves FIRST in every situation…because a lot of the time, WE are the issue.

Ms. Colar stated in her article, “Instead of going to God asking him if “he” was my husband, I sought his face, I worshiped, I prayed, I studied, I journaled, I cried, I did whatever it took to make sure my focus was back where it belonged.

WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE OUR FOCUS IS WHERE IT BELONGS….Not on finding a man, but on finding God. Everything else will line up. 6 Years ago, after my last relationship, I promised myself and God that I would not commit myself to anyone else unless I knew they were it. I said that I would work on myself, get rid of any baggage I had and make sure that I was wife material. I had to work on my self-image, my self-worth, and most importantly, my relationship with God. I knew that I needed to be transformed, and no one else could do it but Him.

While you wait, enjoy your life! Travel, try new things, go on road-trips….have fun! Develop your relationship with God…and watch, he will pop up before you know it. God is faithful, and he would not have put that desire to marry inside of your heart if it wasn’t for you. We have to just Trust Him. Ms. Colar ended her article with these words of wisdom….”……..seek the face of Jesus and watch him make things crystal clear for you. As Christians one may say that’s a given, but it’s the simple things that gets over looked when the heart becomes overjoyed by possibility.” Watch and pray. Be still and listen. Trust and obey. Worship while you wait. Don’t get caught up in your feelings….seasons change. Stay on God’s path through those seasons, and you will be ok.

If you want to talk…need encouragement, want me to believe God with you…just hit me up at abunantheart14@gmail.com. I’ll be glad to pray with you!

Here is the link to the article: http://www.marriedandyoung.com/one/

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My Engagement

“You are so special to me. You are one of a kind, irreplaceable. You have been through alot of things in your life. Things that have changed and molded you. The pressure has caused you to become a diamond. You are the apple of God’s eye, and you are the apple of my eye. You have such a great destiny. The gifts and talents that God placed in you are so awesome. You are a Queen, my queen, and I will treat you as such. You are beautiful, delicate, and precious. You are not only beautiful on the outside, you are beautiful on the inside. You are loving, caring, kind, sweet, and thoughtful. I will always have your back. I will always protect your heart. I will protect your body. I will nurture and protect your spirit. I will stay connected to the father, to help you grow spiritually. I will love you unconditionally, and forever. So today, I ask you for your hand. Will you Marry me?”

And I said…..YES!

Every woman has her dream engagement. Her dream engagement ring, etc. As I have stated before, I have been doing serious introspection. I have a desire to be married, but I have to ask myself, am I truly ready? I have to be real with myself, and realize that I am still a work in progress….I mean we all are, but there are certain things that we have to look at, before we even think about dating or being in a serious relationship with someone. One of the things that I have realized is that I first have to be in a serious relationship with God….and with myself. This is why I asked myself to marry me….let me explain further.

As God has been revealing certain things to me, my daddy isssues, my unforgiveness, my anger, my loneliness…I realized that in all of those issues, I went outside of God to try to fill those voids. In the process, I lost myself. I didn’t love myself, I didn’t value myself, I didn’t cherish myself. Some of the things that I have chosen to do in the past, were done to feel loved, or to try to gain someone’s love, the affection i was wanting and missing and even to feel good about myself. I have had my moments were I didn’t care. Moments where i was boasting in myself. But all the while inside, I was dying. I was hurting so bad, but I kept up a facade, where no one would know or even think that I was tore up.

I realized that because I didn’t love God like I should have, I wasn’t dedicated to Him like I should have been. And  because didn’t love myself, I couldn’t even be dedicated to myself. There is a saying when it comes to relationships that, If someone doesn’t love God, then they won’t know how to truly love you. This is so true in relationships and also with self. How will I learn to truly love myself, or see myself as God sees me, if I don’t build my relationship with Him and let Him pour his love into me? God is Love, and if I don’t know God…then I won’t know true Love for myself, nor when it comes from a significant other. Alot of times, this is why we settle.  We cannot recognize true love, because we are not in relationship with the Lover of our souls.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, dedicate means: to officially make (something) a place for honoring or remembering a person, event, etc. ; to devote to the worship of a divine being; specifically: to set apart to sacred uses wtih solemn rites; to commit to a goal or way of life.

Romans 12:1-2 (KJV) says:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

So today, I choose to make my body a place for honoring God, I devote myself to the worship of the Almighty God, Jehovah  and I will renew my mind daily so that I can reach the goals that God has for me. Today I charge you to take inventory of your life and do the same.

Engagement, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary means, An arrangement to meet or be present at a specified time and place; emotional involvement or commitment; the state of being in gear.

I proposed to myself today….and I accepted. So now, I am engaged….to myself. I am presenting my body as a living sacrifice, holy, and acceptable unto God, which is my reasonable service. God, I am your yielded vessel. Help me to be who you have called me to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

If you want to just talk, or if you would like to share your self-engagement story to be published on here, email me at abundantheart14@gmail.com.

In His Abundant Love,

Miranda

The Loneliness Part 2

validation

That loneliness caused me to get into another painful relationship. I was too busy trying to be what I thought he wanted me to be. I was seeking love and validation in the wrong place. I went through and did things in that relationship that I never thought I would do. I lost my faith, I didn’t pray like I used to, I didn’t read like I used to. That man and that relationship became my Idol. I began to be isolated from my family and friends.I accepted treatment from him that was unimaginable. I literally went through Hell, all because I did not value myself and I did not want to be alone.

I was a late bloomer. I didn’t get my first boyfriend until I was 20, and to this day I have only had 3 serious relationships. Growing up, I was bullied by peers and family members…for a long time I thought no one liked me. I’ve dealt with thoughts of suicide. I have been called ugly, fat, even been told I stunk to my face. I was talked about because of my hair, my clothes, etc. And I never bothered anybody. That was the thing that I never could understand. I just thought I was unwanted, and unloved.

That’s the way the enemy wants you to feel. He is strategic in his moves. He studies each and every one of us closely, looking at our weaknesses and strengths. He attacks you where you are weak. This is why it is so important for us to recognize where we are mentally and emotionally…and work on that. Own up to your stuff! Deal with it, and then move on.

So I have been owning up to my stuff. I have been dealing with my stuff. I STILL have stuff to work on. But I am so thankful that God is faithful to complete the work that he has began in me.

Phillippians 1:6-“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”

I am so thankful right now for God’s chastisement, because I know that he loves me. He wants me to make it! He wants YOU to make it!

Hebrews 12:6-AMP-“For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.

So let God try the reigns of your heart. Let him clean you up…let him Show you, YOU! Its not always easy, but I know that it is worth it. He is ironing out my wrinkles, healing my blemishes. This time in my life is not easy…sometimes it hurts. But, I look at it like this…if you think of a child who is going through a growth spurt…their bones ache, because they are growing. My soul is aching because the SPIRIT is growing inside of me…and those things that are not like God are being pushed out. God showed me that I had to forgive…it hurt me to realize that I had been harboring that, but as I went through the process…pushed it out…the pain subsided. When God showed me that I had anger issues…it hurt me because I didn’t realize I did…but as I let things go…that pain subsided. Now, as God is freeing me of this loneliness….the pain is subsiding…..Thank you Jesus. So, if you are lonely, angry, hurting, holding grudges….remember that God still loves you, and he is the Healer of all. He already took care of that on the cross, all you have to do is receive it. I want to leave you with this scripture…its actually one of my favorites….but keep this in mind as you go through the pain of the process…it won’t last always…..

Romans 8:18-“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

Listen to this song by the Clark sisters….

God Bless you. If you want to talk, or just vent. Feel free to hit me up in my email….abundantheart14@gmail.com.  Feel free to comment below!

In His Abundant Love,

Miranda

The Loneliness

Good morning folks,

Today I am going to be really transparent with you. I have been doing deep introspection lately, just trying to deal with ME, face my issues…do what I have to do to improve myself. I have been reflecting on my relationship with God, my purpose, and my vision. Just doing some deep thinking. As I have been  on this journey, God has been revealing things to me about my character, deep rooted issues, and about my heart.  And man…the things he has revealed to me….wow.

Hand of Destiny

In life, one thing I am learning is that we all have to face harsh realities from time to time. We can go through life with the facade that everything is ok. When inside you are tore up. Well, I am at a point in my life where I am tired of wearing the facade. When I discover an issue, I am going to own up to it and deal with it so that I will be able to move on to the next thing. Not only does my life depend on it, but the lives of those who are assigned to my voice as far as leadership is concerned and my future husband and children. I want to be complete for myself and for them. I want to be in the place where God is most pleased with me.

There was a song by babyface that I really liked back in the day called the Loneliness. I thought about that title as I was writing this, because this is the latest thing that I have been dealing with…Loneliness. Now, if you know me, I’m not a poplar person…don’t care to be. I don’t mind being by myself, I actually like to be to myself at times, and I’m not desperate for attention. I know you are thinking, well you are not lonely then.  LOL. Yea, I have fooled myself by saying that. I actually have attained a busy loneliness (term used by my sister Gabby…:-) ). I am out here, doing things..trying to stay busy, so that I don’t deal with the loneliness that i feel on the inside. Life is changing all around me, and I feel alone in some ways, because some things aren’t happening for me just yet.  I do realize that everything happens in God’s timing…and I am ok with that, but I had to ask God yesterday, what do I do with this? How do I not be lonely? Why am I lonely

?loneliness

I realize that you can be in a room full of people and still be lonely. You can be in a relationship with someone and still be lonely.  The main thing that I had to realize was that my loneliness does not come from not having people around me…it comes from me not communing like I should with the God that lives within me. The Bible says in James 4:8-10 KJV:

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double-minded. Be afflicted and mourn and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”

One thing that we don’t often realize is that we tend to operate out of the issues that we have. I watched the Iyanla, Fix my life reaction episode this weekend about the effects of being a fatherless son. Many of the men that were represented on the show had many children. Many of whom they were not connected with. It turns out that they were creating children with women….that they weren’t necessarily wanting to be connected to…but they connected with them physically to fill a void that they were missing on the inside. Alot of them were seeking love in the wrong places. She also talked with the women too…a lot of the women who dealt with these men were also fatherless daughters..and they were broken…looking to fill a void in their lives as well.

So I had to look at the voids that I was trying to fill in my life. No, I am not a fatherless daugther. I grew up with both parents. The voids that I realized I was trying to fill were self-worth. I wanted to be accepted, validated. I am so much more secure in myself now than I was 5 years ago, but I realize I still have some growing to do. Because if i didn’t then I wouldn’t still exhibit some of my current behaviors. I have been guilty of trying to fill a void with a man. I have made a man my whole world, only to lose him….and then I questioned myself…was I not good enough? Was I not pretty enough? Am I not thin enough? etc. Then I went on to allow men to come into my life, take advantage of me physically, and tear me apart emotionally. I stayed because I didn’t value myself, I didn’t know myself, and I didn’t want to be alone. But yet….I was still lonely.

I will continue on with Part 2 of the Loneliness tomorrow.

Much Agape,

Miranda